I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
