this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
