Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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