Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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