shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
