I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
