I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize