Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
