I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
