But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
