If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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