i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
