is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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