One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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