Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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