Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
