last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
