This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
