All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
send nudes
from the living room?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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