Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
