Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
