pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
