My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
