I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No subtext here. People are naked.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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