I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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