just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
