Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
