Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
