I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
