Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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