$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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