I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
