My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
