Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
