OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
cat food counts as protein by the way
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
