Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize