I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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