I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
