I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
