sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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