Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
