i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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