hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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