omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
