NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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