Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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