The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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