You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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