I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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