You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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