Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
