dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
there was a trapeze. enough said
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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