Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
