home. puking in laundry basket.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
