I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
