WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
