I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
COCAINE IS GR8
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
